...we're just disappointed. Like a father figure, looking at real life responsibilities with the most traumatic, judgement face possible. We're not angry at the situation, and we understand that real life responsibilities come up, but we are disappointed that we can't live our dirtiest life.

At all times, we know that our "Lifestyle" is an extra-curricular activity that is NOT necessary for our happiness. We can slip in and out of the LS whenever it serves us. There are no obligations or minimums needed to maintain  our membership. This is not a full-time Lifestyle for us, and being on the same page with this is one of the most critical elements of maintaining our happy, healthy relationship. 

Sometimes, even when we are ready to venture back in, obligations come up. Family comes first before fuckery, and when a family member is in need of in-depth care, we instantly understand where our priorities are.

That's what happened for us. A family member was diagnosed with a pretty serious medical condition, and then promptly had a stroke. We were fortunate enough to be able to take that family member into our home, and provided her with the care and support she needed during the last few months of her life. 

Sharing this struggle is intended to illustrate that, yes... sometimes we are ready, willing, and eager to have some fun, but it's necessary to set this type of fun aside as we address the real world.

In our previous Blog post, "Swinging back into the scene, slowly..." we discussed our prioritization of the low-pressure, friends first approach to developing our comfort levels with potential, future partners. Our time-delayed experience provided a longer runway to assist with the takeoff of that effort. 

Previously, we were very direct in establishing that we are not currently meeting anyone or leaving room for misleading. We wanted to be clear that we were not, at the time, active in seeking partners. 

Now, we can shift that messaging to.... "we can't right now, but let's stay in touch". We don't know what our future or timeline looks like, but if we need social engagement and crave more intimate connections, we will have already started building a list of potential connections. Those connections, by virtue of patiently waiting for us AND maintaining the friendship, have demonstrated they care more about our well-being than about the hookup. Those that don't operate on our level may or may not get a follow-up opportunity.

When we first got into the Swinging LifeStyle (LS), we dove head first into the deep end and had so much fun exploring all of the new experiences that we could. We let the excitement lead the way as we... ​

... started sharing ourselves online, on PlayboyTV, and through the connections we made in the North Texas LS scene. We attended some awesome parties. We instigated some early playtime at places that usually didn't get started until extremely late. We had all kinds of crazy, wild, and unbelievable sexual experiences. It was amazing! 

Our earlier years were very informative of what we like AND what we don't like. We learned a lot about what gets us going and what kills the mood. We've had a lot of conversations about what served us in those experiences and what we could let go of moving forward. So, here's a breakdown of things that we've grown to understand about ourselves and how we want to operate in the future.

(Editors Note: This blog is intended to be informative both about us as a lifestyle couple as well as talking points for people who are in ethically non-monogamous or lifestyle inclusive relationships. It is NOT intended to be a complaint catalogue or gripe session. Please enjoy lessons we have learned and the preferences we have created.)

​Pressure is a sensitive topic. Many people will tell you they don't like to be pressured into something or that they don't want their rules to be overstepped by pressure or that peer pressure is still prevalent, even in very sexy environments. He's an example of pressure that some may not think about.

The Topic
A standard practice in the lifestyle, when interacting with people online first, is to schedule a dinner or drinks date. 

Our Feelings
We have learned that couple-on-couple dates can often feel like the same amount of pressure as walking into an already active playroom.
For Nikki, the interaction will often feel one-sided because I tend to be 100% our online presence. That disconnect widens even more if I've had long, deep discussions with a person or couple on apps like KIK or through text.
It's also difficult to navigate certain uncomfortable situations if they arise, which can sour an evening that has been dedicated to one specific couple. Let's face it, some people can't turn off their "sensitive topic" brains when socializing. Politics, lifestyle drama, and all of the other topics that can be an immediate turn-off need an exit strategy.

Our Solution
The lifestyle is a non-stop event-fest. There are Happy Hours, Meet-N-Greets, Clubs, Club Invaders/Party Throwers, Dating Site sponsored Events at Clubs, Retreats, so on and so forth... Inviting people into a public space without obligation to each other is our preferred method of taking things off of the internet and into real life. 
This helps us make quick exits if we are uncomfortable with the couple. This helps us feel less guilt if the couple is nice, but we are not 100% feeling sexy that night. This allows us to introduce couples that we feel would be better matched with some of our friends. This helps everyone involved when more options are available. Each option is a method we can use to alleviate pressure.

The Topic
Setting expectations as early as possible will help alleviate frustration and misunderstandings.

Our Feelings
We often bump into people that remind us of early us... Ready to have fun and letting the excitement lead the way. 
We're just not there anymore and we don't want to ruin their energy by allowing them to believe that the couple from PlayboyTV's Swing is right in front of them. We've grown. We've changed. We enjoy the lifestyle differently now. 

Our Solution
This one will sound "sooooo cliché" for swingers, but communication really is what clarifies expectations up front. In most of our online profiles, we include the phrase "friends with benefits, with emphasis on friends first". We will probably, at some point, reiterate that with new interactions so they understand that we are still in first gear if the other couple has their gas pedal all the way to the floor.

As mentioned previously, it feels very cliché to discuss communication as a swinger, because it's almost a comedic punch line at how often swingers say how great their communication is. But, I'm about to let the cat out of the bag on this one. Swingers are not immune to communication issues just because they are swingers. 

The Topic
Communication and understanding will forever be an exercise to keep the relationship strong. 

Our Feelings
Our relationship is only as strong as our communication. We do not get to be lazy, or make assumptions, or act without communicating first. 
As a swinging couple, we are just as prone to miscommunication as a traditional couple. Acting without discussing things can lead to attention disparities, misunderstood intentions, or, in some cases, betrayal/cheating. 
Expecting your spouse/partner to know how you feel or what your intentions are is the easiest way to experience hurdles in the LS. And the same applies when interacting with others. 

Our Solution
Communicate as if each interaction is new, both with your significant other and with others. If every day is a new day with new opportunities and challenges, so too are the feelings that we are experiencing. What was true yesterday may be different today. 
To respect your partner, you must have a valid and honest answer if others ask about your significant other (SO). That requires you to be speaking with your spouse about your desires, intentions, and limitations with each of those interactions.
​

We knew taking a break was necessary for us to focus on each other and enjoy life without the LS focus. It was fantastic and healthy for us to do so. Now, as we look at stepping back into things, we want to make sure we do it with the right intentions. By using the three areas above as our guiding principles, we'll be able to reduce pressure, have closer friends, and maintain the connection through communication that we made when we first started. Watch out, Dallas... 

Our groups have been incredible. From them, we have seen the organization of amazing Happy Hours, House Parties, Club Takeovers, Hotel takeovers for NYE, and so many personal connections in between. In the groups, we've discussed everything from fantasies and desires to parenting advice and relationship problem solving. When a community truly is a source of support, friendship, and sexy fun, it's somewhat unbelievable to feel that connected to others.

For a specific example of how a group can be truly awe-inspiring: We once attended a party on Lake Lewisville in Texas that was a mild disaster. The party barge we rode out on kept getting blown into the dam that we had dropped anchor near. The rest of the boats that had tied up to the party barge were struggling to maintain a line. It was appropriate to untie and go find a different spot. 

As everyone was untying, I offered assistance to the boat I had moved to. (It's not uncommon to swim to other boats at a large tie-up.) As I was working with the rope that had been tied to the cleat of a boat next to us, the wake of the lake rocked the boats apart, taking the slack I was working with instantly. Along with the slack it took the tips of two fingers. I'll spare the rest of the gory details, but I was still new to my job at the time and insurance wasn't available for another 2 days. 

The problem with having an emergency without insurance is that EVERYTHING is expensive. The ambulance ride, the ER visit, the surgery to have my fingers cleaned up. We had savings, but most of it was already planned to go to our future wedding. We didn't budget for an unexpected amputation. 

After we paid the bills, the community knew we were in a tough spot and started a fund to help us. We shared the link to donate far and wide, and the only people who demonstrated their generosity happened to be our dirty friend group. Our families were nowhere near as giving. Our friends from school, the military, coworkers... all quiet as our LS community shined through during our rainy day.

Needless to say, that forever left an impression on us, and we've tried to continue being the same type of support for others during their times of need.

...of the lifestyle can make it addicting. Getting lost in the moment, each moment, when a new couple or single shows interest, can be a never ending cycle of chasing the fun. The rush of new relationship energy is intoxicating and the thrill of seeing your partner having fun is an even greater high. 

​It's no secret that the lifestyle is a fuck-load of fun. We get it. We've had it. There's proof. ​​

​We could write pages and pages of praising the lifestyle's positives. But, it's time we share the responsible side of things.

 ... a break was necessary to break free from the concept of tying business and pleasure together. 

From the moment we exposed ourselves on Swing, on PlayboyTV, we recognized that recognition was valuable. For many years, we used our exposure as a way to forge and bridge communities locally. We hosted Happy Hours and Meet & Greets for our friends. We used our name to continue expanding these communities. We did it without compensation, because it was fun.

In 2016, we began capitalizing on that name by co-hosting/promoting a large  New Year's Eve party. The turn-out was fantastic. The payoff was great. The event itself was a fucking blast! But... this was the turning point in what we had been largely successful at, without monetary profit, for years. When compensation came into play is when the feeling of obligation began ruining our lifestyle.

Molly Conway wrote this great article discussing The Modern Trap of obligating yourself to the things that you find joy in. The trope of our generation is to find a way to make money doing what you love so that you never have to "work" a day in your life. Molly points out that the very real truth that, "those with passion careers can have just as much career anxiety as those who clock in and out of the mindless daily grind." She goes on to identify just how much people in passion careers work in an effort to truly be successful.

It's been a while since we've read anything that rang so true for our experience with attempting to capitalize on our names and efforts. The sacrifice, the dedication, the hours... there's a lot that "doing what you love" takes. For us, all of those things take TOO much of a toll on the genuine joy we experience in the lifestyle. 

...but we've been enjoying a little more than a year "off" as we refocus our efforts. We've disconnected from the things that create obligation to the lifestyle. We're only sharing and participating in things we are genuinely excited about. We aren't following any particular crowd or trend. We are doing what makes us happy, again.

We've been in the Dallas scene for about 4 years, and we've definitely noticed the "cliques". Clique IS the most appropriate word, despite its perceived severity. But, there really isn't a lifestyle appropriate word that conveys a group of people who have found their comfort zone. The way I understand the dynamics of people around here is best summarized by classifying people into several groups. ​

​The first group enjoys the club-party scene. Loud, thumping music, dim sexy lighting, bumping and grinding on the dance floor with people who may be open to bumping and grinding on the couches or back rooms later. Maybe a little bit of the drug culture, but not necessarily. Very "in the moment" experience driven. ​

The next group is the large house party scene. Similar in nature to the clubs, but lower volumes on the music allows people to chat a little more, "get to know" each other. Often, the hosts and guests actively network on sites, travel events, or visit the club scene to bring in people they feel comfortable with into their homes. Hookups happen there, but they also facilitate info exchange for scheduled play dates with more private settings. ​

​the blue-to-red collar group that feels comfortable celebrating their heritage around a bonfire in their camo-everything,tplanning their "Rednecks with Paychecks" types of events and making quality, LED lit  stripper poles. ​

And then there are pockets of people who try all of that, and meet one or two people from each group they like. However, the club isn't really their scene. And house parties full people they aren't really into is a little taxing. They're somewhere between high society and prideful simplicity. They just, are... And they find others who "are" comfortably the same.
​They become friends much like anyone else has friends. They hangout, go to dinners/movies/sporting events/museums/top golf/etc with their friends. Sometimes hook-up, but there isn't any pressure to. ​Those pockets of people, have just found "their" people and that's what makes them most comfortable.

There has been a lot of discussion of rules in many circles we’re in lately. Many of the discussions seem to focus on a few areas that can lead to trouble if we, as a community, don’t address them responsibly and respectfully. Even though singles need to have rules for themselves as well, this post is generally written to address couples and their rules.

You, as a couple, need rules and guidelines of how to interact with people and still show respect and consideration for your partner.

Rules are a way to create security within a lifestyle that is, by design, a risk.

We take calculated risks every day. Driving in our cars COULD lead to wrecks; walking busy streets COULD lead to getting hit by a car or bus, drinking alcohol COULD lead to many bad decisions or results, etc. All of these risks come with some type of rules to make them safer. Traffic laws, crosswalks & signals, and drinking responsibly are all examples of rules or guidelines that are intended to keep us safe during risky situations. The swinging lifestyle is no different.

​​Rules are also agreements between both sides of a couple (or more, if that's your dynamic). These agreements are supposed to be mutually discussed and decided in order to give you a sense of understanding about what you and your partner value in these situations.

Rules are not universal. Everyone plays differently. Every has their own set of rules. 

The flaw that many swingers make, newbies and experienced alike, is expecting others to know or remember your rules. You cannot expect people to know or remember unless you effectively and consistently communicate those rules.

For this reason, it's extremely important that you decide on rules for you and your partner that are easily communicated to others. AND, if you or your partner breaks a rule that was not communicated to the "others", you must only hold yourselves responsible. Don't get angry with the people who didn't make or know the rules.

Couples are responsible for setting their own rules, and they may value certain things differently from you, which leads to different rules.

​Some common rules we encounter from newbies are: 

1. Everyone has to communicate before any flirting or more happens.
2. No online/text communication between opposite sexes. (Only the guys talk and only the girls talk via text/messenger/chat/etc. )
3. No Kissing

While these are normal rules for newbies who are dipping toes in the water, most experienced swinger couples will avoid these newbies. Not because they are dumb rules (even though they kinda are) but because they indicate that the couple has not truly explored the depths of what the lifestyle is and what insecurities they may be holding on to. 

To really break it down to simplest terms, rules are designed to provide your partner with a sense of security when you're doing something that breaks the traditional rules of society.

Your partner wants to see and feel that you are still connected to them when you are getting naughty with others. As sweet as the intention is, it's can be a sign of aforementioned insecurities. It can often lead to very shallow rules like the ones mentioned above. ​

It's hard to find community in a group you feel like you can't connect with. For younger Swingers, it's even harder to create that community because there are so few of us/you out there.

​All too often, the habits, philosophies, and traditions of the experienced are passed down to the young without question of practicality or reason. Each generation manages to put their own twist on most “culture”, but what happens when we don’t give that next generation room to grow and blossom on their own?

... many swingers have never considered or explored. With that in mind, I wanted to write out a big list of subcultures (and my understanding of them) for people to use as a reference or guide to what they do/don't want to explore.

There are some foundational dynamics that MOST people fall in to. While there may be some exceptions and plenty of nuance to each relationship, the majority of ethically non-monogamous relationships will have a generalized starting point one (or more) of the following:

Swinging - activity that entails couples "swapping" partners. Common characteristics of swinging activities/couples can be:

• Emphasis on all participants being present during the activity
• Single instance or short term interactions
• Emphasis on "chemistry in the moment", DTF experiences
• Non-exclusivity among swinging couples
• Active avoidance of deeper emotional connection or romantic love
• Swapping preferences listed as some variations of:
  • Full - open to full, penetrative intercourse
  • Soft - limits to activities performed with swapped partners

​Polyamory/Polygamy - the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved. Polygamy is, specifically, marriage among multiple people. Additional dynamics that are connected to polyamory are:

• Triads/Throuples - a couple adding a permanent, additional person to their relationship
• Polyfidelity - a group of people who commit to only engaging in romantic and sexual relationships within that group.

Open Relationships - afford the opportunity for a long-term committed couple to pursue casual sex relationships among multiple people. Swingers can often identify as having Open Relationships if they enjoy both couples swaps and individual experiences outside of of the relationship.

Hotwife - is a married woman who seeks out casual sex partners outside of her primary relationship with full knowledge, consent, and often enjoyment of her primary partner. Most commonly, her primary partner does not seek out  other sexual partners. Additional dynamics with similar context are:

• Stag/Vixen - Frequently a dominant man who encourages his submissive wife to engage in these activities. Power dynamics are a principle of this dynamic and the dominant may/may not be present.
• Cuckolding - Activity where a dominant wife's submissive partner is present during the sexual activities and may be consensually participating in non-sexual or sexual directions, degradation, or other psychological indulgences in the activity.

BDSM (Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism) - extremely broad subculture of physical and psychological activities that can include restraints, power dynamics, and giving or receiving pain as part of sexually or psychologically gratifying experience. Some of these activities can be done with multiple partners or specialized partners (i.e. - people who enjoy creative bondage can seek out others (riggers) experienced and knowledgeable in rope tying, and that interaction may or may not include sexual activity.)

Kink - unconventional sex preferences. This broad term covers many elements found in ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, but also has unique characteristics of psychological or physical activities that do not fall in traditional sexual formats. Some examples can include:

• Consensual Race play
• Emphasized or enthusiastic hyper-focus on common sexual activities (Oral fixation, anal exploration, etc.)
• Niche role play scenarios or themes (infantilization, bimbofication, etc.)

Exhibitionism - activity involving couples+ who enjoy having sex in front of others. 

Voyeurism - activity where individuals/couples enjoy watching other people engaged in sexual activity, but are not, themselves, engaged in sexual activity.

​Some additional definitions that are not couple specific are:

Unicorns - a single female interested in sexual connections with both men and women at the same time. Named unicorns for their perceived mythical-like rarity in dating spaces.

Single Guys - go by many nicknames depending on the context

• Swinging/Open Relationships : Single Male 
• Hotwife/Cuckold : Bull, Blue Fish, Manicorn, Stunt Cock, Etc.

Newbies - couples and singles who may be interested in some form of non-traditional relationship dynamic that have not yet engaged in sexual activity with others.

DTF (Down To Fuck) -  DTF couples/singles, generally speaking, don't need to know much about you if they find you attractive. They are DTF because they want the activity, not the relationships. These couples/singles are found most frequently in the Swinger community that operates at an ultra-casual level.

FWB (Friends With Benefits) - a significant portion of couples and singles in the Swinger community are ​seeking connections with other couples/singles that are more nuanced than the DTF people, but not committed like poly-partners. FWB types break the stereotype of swinging being surface level, single instance experiences. FWB affords people to develop a deeper understanding and comfort level with each other, but still recognize non-exclusive dynamics.

Unicorn Hunters - The couple seeking DTF unicorns. Often, these are newer couples who want to test the swinging waters, but haven't had enough experience to recognize that Unicorns are aptly named for their rarity. Many single women in the LS will develop a distaste for Unicorn Hunters due to the lack of awareness and compassion newer couples demonstrate in their eager pursuits of Unicorns.

​Casual Dating - Singles/couples that are transparent with their dating partners that they are non-exclusive. Dating within Swinger communities provides the opportunity for Swingers to develop a deeper understanding of swinging partners without obligation to deeper relationships.

Casual Sex -  non-romantic, sexual relationships with informed and consenting partners. All partners understand that sex is neither a commitment or exclusive activity. Casual sex and DTF can be and often are separate concepts. A swinging couple that prefers more of a FWB dynamic rather than DTF dynamic are engaging in Casual Sex

Group Sex - consenting participants in group sex can be found in many different relationship dynamics. Group sex is often found in more DTF spaces, but Casual and Committed Poly relationships often indulge in groups of four or more participants.

Solo Play - Open Relationship and Swinger dynamics often allow one or both halves of a couple to "play solo", making themselves available for one-on-one casual sex, threesomes, or group sex depending on each individual's preferences.

Venues
On Premise Swinger/Sex Clubs - Swinger clubs often have a "Dance Club" vibe with some additional perks. Standards include a Dance Floor, DJ, some sort of bar area, couches/tables, but the twist begins in designated spaces with beds, privacy curtains, exhibitionism rooms, private rooms, and sometimes a porn theater room with many couches.

Off Premise Clubs  - Can be a generalized dance club that advertises and caters to non-traditional relationships or LGBTQIA communities, or higher end clubs that restrict on premise activity due to the culture they want or local laws/city ordinances.

Hotel Party - parties in a hotel range from risky, secretly organized room block purchases to full scale floor or complete hotel takeovers. The smaller the hotel party, the more likely sexual activity is expected of the invited guests.

Lifestyle Resort  - There are many travel destinations that have Lifestyle oriented resorts available for exploring while exploring the world.

Happy Hours/Mixers - often found at bars and restaurants, these events intend to be socially less pressure than other events/venues. Giving the attendees the opportunity to talk, mingle, flirt, and cultivate all types of relationships.

House Party - groups and well connected people in the LS may choose to avoid the club atmosphere and host private, invite only house parties. These may range in size from a few, select couples to well over 100 attendees, depending on the size of the house. Usually there are hors d'oeuvres, mood music, a designated play room, and often a theme set by the hosts.

Dating Sites/Dates - While there are only a handful of popular Lifestyle sites, there seem to be an extraordinary amount of startup/small member numbers Lifestyle dating sites and applications. Most sites provide users with a profile that establishes the basics of who they are and what they are looking for. 

Subculture - the types of people you'll find in The Lifestyle. These people are not exclusively tied to their culture, so they may appear in many of these different subcultures. 
Just the Sex, Please  - Swingers, exhibitionists, voyeurs, and newbies can be found in many spaces that encourage sexual activity. On-Premise Swing clubs, Hotel Parties, Lifestyle Resorts, Happy Hours, House Parties, Dating sites, etc. The DTF community have, historically, been the biggest compelling force behind all of the venues and infamous party themes like "Key Parties". These people can sometimes insist on sober play because the sex is the high they crave.

Intimate Interactions Preferred - Those who require more in-depth connection than the DTF crowd can be found in most spaces, but thrive in calmer settings that afford the opportunity for quality conversation. Many couples prefer to do couples dating only, which means most of their interactions begin on the dating sites. However, the Happy Hours and House parties are also popular for meeting new partners. Once connected, many of these people will indulge in the club or hotel party scene, but generally enjoy casual sex with partners who they have already established a mental connection and comfort with.

Let's Dance  - the club scene can be very intoxicating for all types of people. The music, the closeness, the energy.... Most of your friends who would "Dance Like No One is Watching" in public are going to find their happy place in a Club, Large Hotel Party, or Lifestyle Resort. Sometimes, that intoxicating energy can lead to a very natural, progressive flow from dance to sex with the right partners. There's usually a good mix of DTF and FWB types found on the dance floor.

"We Don't Play in Our Hometown" - There are many Lifestyle people who live in rural areas without much access to the sexy amenities of a large city. These people are often concerned about putting themselves on dating sites because they don't want gossip mills to put their professional lives or children at risk. They find their happiness on short vacations to larger cities in the Club or any larger parties commonly advertised. They also frequent Lifestyle Resorts to find Casual experiences.

Drugs - There are two sides of the drug culture coin. There are people who like their drugs with a side of sex, and the people who believe their intimate and sexual connections are made even better with drugs. The first group of people are there for the experience the party drug gives them in a sexually charged, thumping music, sweaty dance energy environment and not actually having sex. The latter is seeking sex, but like to enhance it. Both groups are often found in Clubs and House Parties, but also participate in annual music festivals, cruises, etc.

Lifestyle Is Life - The people who attend every Happy Hour and House Party while also spending at least one day of the weekend in the club or at MAJOR club events are in their "Happy Place" surrounded by the sex positive atmosphere. They may play all the time OR rarely play, but they seem to be in every picture because they choose this Lifestyle over all other hobbies.

We Don't Talk About Fuck Club - this group of people prefers their activities, preferences, and who they are into to be private. They are commonly found in many spaces, but go out of their way to only discuss what they are into privately, with people they are interested in doing it with. 

FWB-Emphasis on Friends First - having close friends that enjoy dinners, movies, museums, and other non-sexual hobbies is incredibly rewarding. Many people find their "best friends" in the Lifestyle. Having best friends that will occasionally flirt, feel, and take things to a deeper level is fantastic! Having friends that are aware you are non-exclusive, and they are non-exclusive as well is as close as some can get to nirvana. Small groups of friends can be found in almost any space, and sometimes give off a "clique-ish" vibe. That's not intentional, they are just very comfortable with each other which can seem difficult to break the ice into.

Let's Try Something New - this group of people seems to always be looking for something to push their own boundaries, give them new sensations, indulge the craving for learning, or challenge what they previously understood about sex/sexuality. You can find them on all of the sites, in the clubs/dungeons/expos, and travelling to experience something new. You are likely to detect vocabulary from BDSM/Kink communities from these crossover explorers.
​
I'm in [XYZ] Facebook Group - Facebook groups and their culture depend greatly on the leadership of the group. The culture can, sometimes, influence how a couple interacts in offline spaces. The group itself can organize events in the various spaces, which can help newer couples/singles feel more comfortable attending if they know they are meeting people they have already conversed with online.

As conversation and drinks allowed, we began a little bit of shuffling conversation partners. The ladies rotated around the 3 couches we had taken occupancy of and us guys would chat, flirt, stroke, and pet as the comfort levels increased. Each rotation of female partner increased the sexual energy of the group and soon the simple touches turned into full on seduction grasps and strokes. The kisses went from flirtatious and light to passion filled make-out sessions. Skirts began hiking up, belts began to loosen. The energy of the group was intensely erotic, and we could tell this was going to be a night of unforgettable memories.
​
As the heavy petting continued, we could tell that Couple R was pulling back a little. They had informed us earlier that they had obligations the next day that would cut their night short, so as they pulled back on their reigns, we respectfully said our goodnights with passionate, farewell kisses.

Couple XLatin couple with smooth moves and  hints of accent to let us know there was flavor in their game. He was about 5’10”, 190. Not overly muscular, but he knew he had to put in a little effort because the lifestyle respects it. She was about 5’8″, 140. The perfect skin complex with beautiful DD tits and a muy caliente, spanish booty.
​
Couple X then became our full on, full blown, full swap targets.  They were able to take the pace as slow as we needed to ensure there were not boundaries broken. They were, also, just pushy enough to get us amped up and craving more. Some oral pleasures began in the same area we started, and this is where the night gets real.
My attention is torn. I’m stealing glances at Nikki ’s ass as she is grinding in the male’s lap with her skirt bunched up over her ass, around her waist. I’m also trying to focus on lapping up the sweet aroma and nectar of Mrs. X’s pussy. I’m purposely edging Mrs. X. I would bring her close to orgasm and then back away. I feel quite certain this will build a mountainous eruption from her later. During this time, she tells me that she is a squirter. I know that these women exist, but I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. It was evident that we needed to make a switch to something a little more focus friendly.
​

The club offered “spa rooms” consisting of an open room with multiple beds barely separated by sheer curtains. We were the only people in the room and we found beds that suited our needs. The oral that had started upstairs continued by Nikki and the Mrs X going down on me. They licked and sucked all over my rock hard dick and balls. They nibbled, they tongue lashed, they brought my whole ball sack in their mouths and kept me guessing whose mouth was whose the whole time.

Soon after that unforgettable experience, Nikki headed over to the bed next to the original with Mr X. I didn’t get to see the immediate happenings, but the sounds of Nikki and Mr X getting along well, and the sloshing of the supremely wet pussy of Mrs X riding my cock was mind-blowing-ly wonderful! I think the situation was having affect on Mrs X too because, from somewhere deep down inside her incredible body there was an eruption of sexual power. A power that released a majestic sound from her mouth and a tidal wave of orgasmic female ejaculate that soaked me from cock to face. My entire stomach, chest, and face were covered in this woman’s orgasm and I couldn’t believe this was real. My mind went into complete overload and my hips bucked through their final thrusts as I came as well.
​
After Mrs X and I cleaned up a little, we headed over to the adjacent bed where Nikki and Mr X were in the deepest of throws of fucking. Watching the action was mesmerizing as I was able to take in the different views I don’t usually get to see when Nikki is being pleasured. The hip action of Mr X as he pounded away at Nikki’s tight, wet pussy was inspiring and beautiful. The bounce of Nikki’s tits matching each full length thrust from Mr X captivated my mind and I found myself entranced with the situation all over again. The best part was the orgasms. Knowing that my love’s pussy had crippled this man’s prowess boosted my ego. Watching this man’s cock please my lady made me so happy to have found a woman that is so beautiful in every expression.
After basking in the afterglow, we found ourselves naturally looking to exit and reconnect back in our own bed at home.


And that was our first experience in a swingers club.

Because of this, bisexual men in the Swinging Lifestyle tend to keep their bisexuality hidden due to fears their openness may be misconstrued. Even in more progressive minded, metropolitan cities of Texas like Dallas and Austin, there is a hesitation to be forthcoming with that information.

Not Entirely Wrong
Let's be honest here, dark rooms at swinger clubs provide plenty of opportunity for anyone to cross consent lines. So the fear the homophobic person has is not unfounded. That being said, threatening violence is not the way to handle that fear. There are plenty of stories from friends who may have an ass in the air at the club and a random spectator might spank, caress, fondle or otherwise touch without consent. Most of these scenarios don't end in violence, however. The best case reaction is a clear and concise expression of boundaries. The most common scenario is the offender disappearing before confrontation or being too intoxicated to understand they just committed a party foul.

​Enough Fact, Now Opinion
It truly is frustrating to see so many people feel the need to hide. But not me. Not us. We proudly describe ourselves as Pansexuals.

We paraphrase the definition of that to say that we, essentially, are attracted to people rather than genitals, so long as there is intimate/sexual chemistry. Chemistry is the important part.

Relating that to the grand scheme of this blog post, it means that I, Daniel, am sexually active with all genders. Additionally, Nikki is sexually active with all genders. Sometimes it's easier to claim the bisexual title when describing my sexual interactions. These sexual interactions do not change who I am as a person. I'm not a predator or disease ridden. I'm not an irresponsible risk taker. I am a person and I am more than happy to explore other genders as well. The only requirement is a mental and physical chemistry between myself and that PERSON.

Why We Advocate
It is my opinion that the older and the less experienced tend to develop strong feelings about any variety of topics. Male Bisexuality seems to be one of the topics that, with little or no experience interacting with bi-men, leaves some with only preconceived notions. Where these people go wrong is using those preconceptions as justification for violence. Violence towards anyone over their sexual orientation is wrong. There is no justification for it.

The side effects of not feeling accepted in society are well documented with the LGBT community. Depression and suicide CAN happen if our people, the human kind, feel like they are being rejected. This is why we take a stance. This is why we feel the need to protect.

We try to be examples of how normal, respectful people can be from any variety of background. We don't represent any kind of unusual risk to anyone. Our intent is to never force what we do onto others. If you are afraid or think we are more of a risk; if you think less of us because of our choices... Those thoughts are on you and your biases. You're the one missing out on our friendship. We are happy, and we are doing what we can to help others be happy to.
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Resources
National Suicide Prevent Hotline
1-800-237-8255
LGBT Resources
https://www.glbthotline.org/